Negotiating Success Tips and Tools for Building Rapport and Dissolving Conflict While Still Getting What You Want

Negotiating Success provides expert guidance on how to improve strategies and outcomes in negotiating anything in professional and personal life. With a constant focus on the mind, body, and spirit of the professional negotiator, this easy-to- ready text brings a holistic approach to the hard and soft skills needed for ethical negotiations. The result is a better understanding of how to negotiate successfully for mutual benefit by all parties.

• Offers tips and tools, such as how to use positive psychology to unite your team, emotional intelligence for successful negotiation, and how to minimize conflict
• Spells out the six principles of ethical influence
• Written by Jim Hornickel, the founder of Bold New Directions, a transformational learning organization that provides training, coaching, retreats, and keynotes across the world, specializing in negotiation, leadership, communication, presentation, and corporate training

Negotiating Success delivers an unparalleled blend of practical and explicit steps to take to achieve win-win negotiations, every time.

Introduction xi

I THE PEOPLE IN THE PROCESS 1

1 Valuing Mutuality, Proactivity, and R.E.S.P.E.C.T. 3

Mutuality 3

Proactivity 6

R.E.S.P.E.C.T 7

Mutuality, Proactivity, and R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Summary 19

2 Reviewing Human Fundamentals 23

False Self and True Self 26

Centricities 31

Reviewing Human Fundamentals Summary 33

3 Expanding Emotional Intelligence 35

Self-Awareness 37

Self-Management 44

Social Awareness 46

Managing Relationships 50

Expanding Emotional Intelligence Summary 51

Case Study 52

4 Working with Negotiating Styles 54

Doer—Task-Oriented 61

Thinker—Task-Oriented 63

Talker—People-Oriented 65

Guardian—People-Oriented 67

Working with Negotiating Styles Summary 69

Unfolding Case Study 69

5 Integrating Six Principles of Ethical Influence 72

The Principle of Reciprocity 73

The Principle of Liking 77

The Principle of Social Proof 80

The Principle of Authority 81

The Principle of Consistency 84

The Principle of Scarcity 86

Integrating the Six Principles of Influence Summary 88

6 Dissolving Conflict 90

Code of Conduct 91

Conflict Escalation 95

Conflict De-Escalation 95

Dissolving Conflict Summary 96

7 Presenting Your Case 98

Why People Buy 99

Image, Productivity, and/or Profitability 100

Numb—Pain—Ready to Act 102

Reception Challenges 104

Doer as Presenter 106

Thinker as Presenter 109

Talker as Presenter 112

Guardian as Presenter 114

Summary of Behavior Styles as Presenters 116

Setting Direction—4 A’s 117

Summary of Behavioral Styles 4 A’s Satisfaction Points 123

Using Your Voice—The 6 P’s 123

Competence and Confidence 130

Composed Beginning 130

Strong Stride 130

Leader’s Stance 131

Breathe 132

Eye Connection 132

Expressive Face 133

Body Language and Gestures 134

Presenting Your Case Summary 135

II THE NEGOTIATING PROCESS 137

8 Understanding Negotiation Fundamentals 139

Negotiation Fundamentals 139

Assumptions 139

Information Is Power 142

Disclosure Establishes Trust 143

Overly Competitive = Lose-Lose 144

Trading Value—Concessions 145

Creative Thinking 148

Understanding Negotiation Fundamentals Summary 153

9 Creating Range and Alternatives 155

Wish 156

Starting Point 157

Who Names the Number First? 158

Bottom Line 159

BATNA—Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement 160

WATNA—Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement 161

Creating Range and Alternatives Summary 162

10 Concretizing “Why,” “What,” and “How” 163

Why, What, and How 163

Concretizing Why, What, and How Summary 168

11 Preparing for Your Session 170

Uniting Your Team 177

Preparing for Your Session Summary 179

12 Discovering All Sides 181

Discovery Phase 181

Skills for Use in Discovery 185

Discovery Phase Summary 203

13 Checking In Before Moving On 205

Check-in Phase 205

Check In Before Moving On Summary 207

14 Trading for Mutual Gain 209

Trade Phase 209

Trading for Mutual Gain Summary 215

15 Evaluating for Improvement 217

Evaluate Phase 217

Evaluating for Improvement Summary 219

16 Disposing of Tactics 221

Exposing Tactics 221

The Use of Tactics 222

Disposing of Tactics Summary 240

17 Practicing for Life 242

Appendix 243

Index 249

JIM HORNICKEL is the cofounder of Bold New Directions, a transformational learning organization that provides training, coaching, retreats, and keynotes across the world, specializing in negotiation, management, leadership, communication, and presentation through corporate training. In addition to his role at Bold New Directions, Jim has been an incubator of three businesses, a manager in several industries, and a leader in contract, staff, and labor negotiations.